Workout more. Eat less. Repeat.
Day in. Day out.
I’ve been running on this treadmill mindset and I’m getting extremely fatigued. Discouragement, shame, and guilt are my daily companions. I tell them to go away, but with the same breath, I invite them back in. I’m not sure I can make it to the gym again without them. I’m not sure I can muster the strength to say no to another food on my “bad” list. Those companions motivate me to keep running.
So I do.
I run towards an ideal body. Ask me what it looks like. I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Not because I don’t want to or because it’s too unrealistic to describe. It’s because it literally does not exist. I’m chasing the body called “better.” And better never rests. Better says keep going. There is more to be done here. Do more reps. Make yourself sweat. Lose weight. Skip meals. Embrace the pain. Push past your limits. Don’t stop.
So I don’t.
This is simply the Introduction. The part of the book that comes before all the details. In later chapters, I intend to uncover what my relationship with food, my body, and my mind really looks like. It’s a story that goes way back and will take several chapters to describe. I have come to realize that this struggle may be a thorn in my side for the rest of my life. I don’t claim it as such, but I treat it as such, laying it before the Father daily, asking for His supernatural healing. I hope in reading my story you can find some sort of relief knowing you are not alone. There is hope.
Chapter One is coming soon…
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