I have been in San Diego California for almost two weeks now. The area I live in is slowly becoming familiar to me. On one side, we have the bay. On the other side, we have the beach. No matter which side I am on, there are always people riding bikes, walking, running, skating or driving. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that people call San Diego their home. How is it that people could have grown up with their porch touching the edge of the sandy shores of the Pacific Ocean? I’ve tried to imagine it.
Every morning the ocean breeze picks up the folds of the curtain and sends them into a soft frenzy. Behind the curtains, the sunshine warms the room with a heavenly glow. There is a quiet silence, no air conditioners humming in the background or the honking of heavy traffic. Breakfast is a quick run through the kitchen. In one hand a breakfast bar, in the other a banana. The porch door slides shut and there is nothing left to keep me from surfing the waves.
I know there is normalcy in living in this city, like checking the mail, doing the dishes and laundry, going grocery shopping, and taking kids to school, but every time I see families who live here, I picture the scene I described above. No matter how many places I have lived or traveled to, I tend to first be receptive to all that is good. I notice the beauty. It takes time, though, to see the brokenness.
This summer I decided to come on mission to San Diego with Cru. As I have grown in my faith and my ability to evangelize this past semester on my campus in Texas, I decided to spend my summer being trained even more in those areas. So far, our team of roughly eighty students and staff have been heavily involved in orientation, training, evangelism, and community building. Through this, I have witnessed the brokenness of San Diego.
For example, on day two of our mission, we were asked to partner up with someone from our team and do outreach on the beach. We jumped right into talking to locals and vacationers about true life offered through Christ. I remember this one conversation with a woman who responded to our questions by saying, “These are not vacation questions.” I was slightly taken off guard by this response. I understood in that moment how common it is for people to spend vacation escaping life, including the difficult questions that life forces us to answer. Questions like: Where am I going after I die? Is there a heaven or hell? What is sin? Who is God? Do I know what it means to have a personal relationship with God? Those questions require addressing brokenness and most people would rather leave that in their past. After speaking to this woman and sharing the answers to some of these questions, I left with a sadness I didn’t have before. Conversations like this one continued to happen as we trudged through the sand and the weight of people sharing broken standards, views, and experiences forced me to stop.
“Annie, my heart hurts for these people. I want them to know that it doesn’t take good works or a beautiful life to reach heaven. I want them to know the weight of their sin and the intense love God has to redeem us. Can we pray?”
Annie and I prayed for the people we had met and we even began praying for our family back home. A few days later, we did outreach at the University of California at San Diego. This day of outreach was similar to our day at the beach. We had to partner up with someone and use a tool called solarium.
This tool consists of asking students to choose picture cards to describe their life, what they desire their life to be, how they view God, and what their spiritual life is like. This tool allows us to get to know students, hear their stories, and eventually share with them the good news of how Jesus came to earth to save us from eternal separation from God. While using this tool, we talked with a girl who flat out told us she did not believe in God. We asked her to explain why she thought other people believed in God.
“I think they need someone or something to go to in hard times. That’s why they have religion, so they can feel better when things are hard.”
We ended the conversation a little roughly. I didn’t quite know how to respond, but my partner Alex reminded the girl that there is so much more to faith than the hard times. There are times of great joy that can only be fully experienced with God. Talking with this girl reminded me of how our brokenness keeps us from truly understanding God.
Luke 19:41-42, “As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.” ”
Every city is in desperate need of the gospel. I am encouraged to know that I get to be a vessel by which God’s grace is proclaimed. The more broken I realize I am, the deeper I can empathize with the brokenness in others’ lives. San Diego is beautiful. San Diego is broken.
These are the things I would love prayer for:
complete dependence on the Lord for our team & myself
awareness & taking action in accordance with the Holy Spirit’s leading
conversations that we will continue to have on campus
citizens of San Diego & the vacationers here
persistance for our team to seek God & love others
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