i looked outside of myself

Comparison was always taught to be the "thief of joy." Looking to my left and right would only lead to discontentment, frustration, and grumbling.

It's true.

Mostly...

it's felt like months now

of wishing for different

regretting a moment

and the second it subsides

another wave has me back out again

thoughts loud and muffled

so that i'm left to wonder what i really think

what i really feel

what i really want

who i really am

clothes move from one pile to another

i change from one pajama set to another

baggy t-shirt

thrifted sweats

and a pair of any clean fuzzy socks i can find

warm outside

hoping to warm up inside

too

dad used to always say

"go serve someone else"

and i'd roll my eyes

or want to

but it's true

and what he really meant was

it's time you look outside of yourself

so today

without knowing

i looked outside of myself

i compared my situation

with someone to my left

and my right

and i'm better for it

we are to

"bear one another's burdens,

and so fulfill the law of Christ"

we are to

feel the weight of another's pain

we are to

wipe the tears off another's cheek

we are to

calm the endless tides of "unknown" with the Word of God

we are to

look outside of ourselves

and allow our pain

for just a moment

to grow smaller

(Reference is to Galatians 6:2. I highly encourage reading the entire chapter. Scripture is our washcloth. Our medicine. Our hope. Our reminder. Our source to know God.) Love you guys!