Don’t let this group know it is your last week. I stared into the mirror, looking at a girl that had seen better days. Messy bun. Baggy eyes. Shoulders slightly slouched over. Alone because the other city hosts had already left. One week left. Smile and keep your head up.
Being a City Host is not something you can force. No amount of motivational speeches or pats on the back can will a person to be a City Host. Period. You will reach the end of yourself faster than you think and in unexpected ways. By the last week, I had slowly become bitter toward authority. I had let late night conversations turn into complaint sessions. I had stopped coming to the Father on behalf of my groups and stopped seeking Him when I was tired. Instead, I would try to sleep a few extra hours because that is what I thought I needed to make it through. I became robotic in conversations and prayers. It was my job to make my groups feel welcomed and to create relationships with them. Just a job, no longer a desire. “We are a team.” I would tell my leaders every week. And although it was true, everything leading up to week 10 had left me on the sideline with little to no motivation to be involved. In my fatigue, I was expecting a lot from group 10. Honestly, probably too much. I wanted my last week of the entire summer to be the best week ever…
Group 10: Berlin Baptist Church from Michigan.
The moment they rolled in I knew they would be something special. They had their own green church van with an aux chord for rap music and AC that would occasionally blow hot air. They reminded me of my people back home. My youth group from high school. Not simply because of their taste in music, but because they were passionate about Jesus.
This group was the realist. It was very evident to me that they were facing trials, whether from their home life or their life in D.C., but they didn’t pretend to have it all together. We worked through countless attacks from the enemy on our strength, joy, peace, and unity. Although these burdens tempted me to feel weary, I never experienced a weight from them. In fact, they freed me. It was like God’s way of saying, “You can be real too. You can allow yourself to say it’s your last week and experience the feelings that come with that.”
And so I did. I stopped denying the inevitable. In pieces, I said goodbye to the city that had become my home.
My group was great and let me say all my goodbyes. At every restaurant, I hugged the owner and said thank you for everything. I still remember saying goodbye to Sonny, the chinese woman who worked at Hunan. She asked, “You coming back next year?” I shook my head no. She quickly replied, “Maybe, I visit Texas.” I smiled and pulled her in for a hug, “I’ll see you soon then.” I wondered what my group would feel as I said my goodbye. They had only known Sonny for an hour or so. Yet, through my goodbye, I felt like they knew and appreciated her better. God allowed my affection for the people of D.C. to become a tangible thing for my Michigan group. All my other groups heard me say that I knew and loved the ministry partners and restaurant owners, but when I have to say goodbye to someone, only then do people see how much I truly love them. And my Michigan group witnessed that.
The entire week I felt more intentional. I sat on the metro trying to ingrain the sights and sounds into my mind. I didn’t want to forget them. I looked at the monuments as if they might evaporate at any moment. I navigated my driver through the city with excitement, knowing that every road had become familiar to me. The small moments with my group brought such joy to me. I wanted to hold onto my daily responsibilities because all of a sudden the reality that I would only have them for a few more days hit me. I took debrief seriously, realizing how neat it was to recount a day’s worth of service sitting at a memorial in our nation’s capital. Even the time spent at the church we lived in was incredibly intimate and special. In fact, we got to have a birthday celebration the very last night in the church’s fellowship area. Afterward, we spent over an hour speaking words of affirmation over each person in the group (even me! my group wouldn’t let me skip myself).
Here are a few other things we did during the week:
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God removed the pressure I had put on myself to act like it was not my last week. In its place, I felt freedom to say goodbye to D.C. and to let my group into those goodbyes. This group was amazing through it all. They served well and loved each other well and even invited me into their “family.” I am thankful for my Michigan group. And I don’t think I will ever forget the feeling of driving with the windows down, Tedashii’s rap music blaring, and the downtown D.C. traffic honking on every side. Hey Michigan, I wouldn’t have wanted to end my summer with anyone else. “We be on ten.”
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