For 3 hours, I was lost to everyone I knew. I sat in silence with the sky. The shades of blue grew light and vast. White clouds were hung out to dry after the storm had passed. And the green abyss of land swallowed my thoughts as I looked down. Further down still. At earth and all it’s intricacies. Roads curving. Hills flattened to nothing. Dark shadows turned to patches of black, collaged with water and dirt.
I am currently on Southwest airlines flying to Reagan National airport in Washington D.C. I had planned on listening to music, but I didn’t save any music onto my phone and the wifi doesn’t work. So I am sitting here…in silence. It’s a loud and terrifyingly real silence.
Here are 3 things that I have on my mind as I sit in this silence:
1. I am overjoyed to be allowed the privilege of journeying to another state in order to share the redemptive love of Jesus Christ. This past semester I have been reminded constantly that the saving power of Jesus Christ, the entire story of the gospel, is a gift. I have been pushed by my peers to share this gift wherever I go. There are people all around the world who do not know Jesus Christ intimately and are destined for an eternal death. I have learned how crucial it is to spread the name of Jesus because He is the WAY, TRUTH, and LIFE. Thinking over all of this, I see my summer mission as such a privilege…that the God of all of creation would desire to use me. Woah. It’s crazy beautiful. He desires to use me—someone broken and hurting and selfish and rude, but also, someone willing and ready and seeking truth.
2. Creation will forever blow me away in all of its beauty and majesty. My lips part into a smile involuntarily and my eyes are bright as they take in everything. I love to look out of windows. It’s one of my favorite things. Looking out of airplane windows is probably the most breathtaking. It gives me an immense amount of perspective. I mean, who am I? A small human who would take an entire lifetime to design and structure a “good life.” Who is God? A perfect Father who designed all of the earth in 6 days, and He still graciously gives me life to the full, something better than I could ever design.
3. I crave distraction to fill me. This last thought is the hardest to deal with. Over the course of my life, I have become accustomed to a distracted life packed with relationships, work, hanging out, running, dancing, music, food, and adventure. These things cannot ever fill me properly. They are not made to sustain my spiritual being. For a time, their inadequacy is hidden. It feels as though I am full. Better than full…fulfilled even. Then my spiritual body will start to grow weak. And in moments of intense pressure, it will crack and start to crumble. As I sit on this plane with little to no distraction, I come to terms with my spiritual condition. I am weak. I am hurting. It’s overwhelming to think about serving God in an unknown place. But I am also trusting and leaning on Him.
I am so ready to step foot into D.C.. I know that God has some crazy things in store for my team this summer. Here I come Washington D.C. Whoop Whoop!
(I am already here in DC…didn’t get to edit this until now! Love you guys)
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